Sunday, January 22, 2012

not worth two buses

I can not believe it has been almost two weeks since I have visited my little space here.  Life has had me sidetracked a bit.

Shelby started a new semester at college which is a challenge because then I have to change her rides to and from the college and her workers coming here to the house.  I will say that we received some emergency student funding to help put in place workers to come to the college to toilet her.  I was a little lost the other day when I did not need to go to the college to do it.  It makes a huge difference.  I will have to help her at her placement two days a week but it is a 20 minute walk tops or I could bus it in 5 minutes.  The plan though is to run it.  Yes I said it.  That taboo word that has been lost from my vocabulary for far too long.  There have been some songs that have been honest to heavens making my feet itch to run. Like this one, this one and this one.  As much I try to justify that I don't need to run, the times when I allow life to take over and take that time away from me and I need to make excuses....I do need to. 

There was sickness here that needed to be addressed.  Another bout of anti-biotics for Porscha.  There a visit to our family doctor that had me kind of wondering why it is I am taking two buses to her office to see her.  Our old doctor was like a saint.  Honestly.  You would go and visit and never feel silly or stupid.  Well a few years back she closed her practice.  A few years prior to that she had moved her practice and we followed her even though it meant a two bus ride down into the city.  She was very worth it.  So when she announced her practice was closing a few years back she suggested a doctor that was taking patients and there seem to be not a whole lot available closer to home so we joined this new office.  Well after being there a good three years I am here to say that unequivocally without a doubt, this doctor is not worth two buses.

Porscha has been unwell for a good two months.  This was the third visit we had made.  In the appointment I was explaining what Porscha had been complaining of.  How the anti-biotics work well but as soon as she went off them she was sick again.  I waited a good week before I took her back down to see the doctor again.  So I said something to the effect that Porscha had been having a hard time describing the feeling she had in her chest and my doctor...the person who you 100% should never feel awkward around.  Who may be the person to bring you through a tough time medically.  Who should be compassionate and understanding said to me, "is that why you're talking for her".  I was a little taken back. I mean I am not going to say that she wasn't right.  I mean Porscha could have been telling her everything I was saying but there is a way to tell a parent to shut up that is respectful.  Then a bit further into the appointment she asks Porscha a question and Porscha kind looked to me and said something like, "what do you think" and she says to Porscha, "oh come on, your 17 you can answer that."

Anyway we ended up getting a chest x-ray which ruled out phenomena and I was happy about that but I shouldn't have to go through her shitty beside manner to achieve something as simple a chest x-ray which I do not think was out of the question considering how unwell she had been.  This was sort of the straw that broke the camels back.  Both John and I don't find her to appealing, never have but we don't see the doctor often at all and so it hasn't been that big a deal.  However after that appointment I started thinking about what if we needed to be down there a lot?  What if she was alone with Porscha and spoke that way to her?  Would Porscha say anything about it?  And what sort of example would I be setting if I didn't decide to stop being a situation that I don't like and that is not acceptable?  I did that once already.  I was a big huge suck because I was scared to make a change and rock the boat.  Well thanks to some encouraging words form my boss I have began the task of finding a new family doctor.  I am not sure if I wll ever get the nerve to be 100% honest about why we are leaving when we do.  For now I will blame it on two buses.  I may get up the nerve to send a letter once all is said and done and then again maybe I won't.  For now getting a new doctor set up is key. 

There was a fall earlier in the week.  I rolled Shelby off the bed.  Yep.  Right off the bed.  It was Monday.  She was all ready for her placement interview.  Yes this happen just before her interview.  I do not know where my mind was.  I can't even tell you what I was thinking about at the time.  Obviously not about being careful and certainly not about the task at hand.  She usually uses the bed for changing and whatnot and so when we go to get bottoms up she will roll onto her belly so I can pull everything up.  She needs a bit of help with the roll.  I gave her help alright.  I helped her right off the bed.  Thankfully she did not break anything.  Thankfully she made it to her interview and got her placement.  Thankfully we were both able to laugh about it after.  I hate these kinds of lessons in life.  The ones where something awful is narrowly escaped and your eyes are opened to the need to slow the f#%@ down and breathe.  In the back of your head your thinking about what could have happened, how it could have been real bad.

All these situations kind of drained me and I guess that is why I have been neglect about getting over here.

We have been busy with basketball too.  Amber had a tournament last weekend and this weekend.  Last weekend they placed fourth.  Which was not bad at all.  They won 3 out of 5 games.

This weekend there was gold baby!!! Gold!!! Perfect!!!

She had a wonderful weekend.  She played very well.

I had one of the moms give me some felt. 

Love that she brought it for me.  I was complaining that I was having a hard time finding orange felt.  I will share the whole little knit when it is done but it includes those booties that brought me here to the dark side of blogging.

I know other bloggers get blogging.  I think my family gets it or maybe they don't but even if they don't, they support me.  It is always hard though to know how others will react.  In the grand scheme of things blogging is sort of nerdy.  Depending on how much you share of your life it can make you very exposed.  It is hard sometimes to feel okay about letting your dirty little blogging secret out to people you see in real life on a regular basis...aside from family because family have no choice but to love you no matter what you write.  I told a few moms at the game yesterday that I blog.  I think that I am getting to the point where I am very proud of this space I have here.  I want to share it.  I want people to read and sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone just a little in life.

My felt momma.....Lisa, left the sweetest message here after reading.

Alisha, thank you for brightening my day with your company at the girls basketball games today but also your amazing and delightful blog. I have cried, laughed out loud and smiled from ear to ear while reading your various posts. You truly are a GIFT!


She showered me with so many wonderful compliments today at the game about my writing.  About my special space here.  She was close to making me cry.  I think it is because this is a special spot.  A place where I share things that make me laugh and cry.  I am so proud of this space.  I love what it does for me.  To hear someone love it as well, is beyond words. 

Her time reading is so appreciated as well as her kind words.  Everyone who stops by to read...I love that you take the time.  Thank you.

1 comment:

Kaye said...

My favorite doctor was the ped we had in Michigan. His name was Peter Jennings. And he smoked. Just like the anchor. I mean a pediatrician that smokes? Yikes. But we couldn't really change. We had crappy student health insurance and they were the only deal in town for that. Fingers crossed you find someone who has a bit more of a clue!